"I like to study when my birthday is in session... shut up, I couldn't think of anything on the spot" - Kevin, who clearly has the best birthday sessions

"I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S IN THE WORLD!!!" - Kevin, who is correct, and not the only one who's in the world

"i wish i had shoes on...my feet are so dirty now, oh no! OH NO oh no oh no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO"

"i don't understand why all these women have long hair...it's so hot, it's so hot, it's so hot" in reference to the women on the television

In case you are an outsider, audio proof may be necessary in order to truly understand Kevin.

"I'm not good with diction, ya bitch!" - Kevin, who bit his tongue while trying to say this

"i have so much mucus in my body" - kevin, snotman

"I feel so pregnant right now" - Stacia

"Kevin against babies, KEVIN AGAINST BABIES. Fuck babies." - Kevin, anti-life advocate

"I'M GETTING HOT ALL OVER, YOU'RE AGITATING ME!" - Kevin, literally getting so hot right now

"Stop it, paparazzi, stop it! Push away the hate, push away the hate" - Kevin, master of dance and fending off the press

2/28/10 -

"Why is it when you say 'Don't touch me!', I'm not allowed to touch you, but when I say 'Don't touch me!', it's okay for you to weasel your way on to me?" - Akari

"Because you're a woman, and you're weak" - Kevin, misogynist